Judge Not The Hotdog Lest Ye Be Judged
There is this article popping up in Twitterville about a beautiful little girl who died choking on a hotdog. This is so profoundly sad and horrible and I can’t imagine the grief of losing one’s child.
But, the article goes on to say that the AAP wants a ban on hotdogs and wants their size changed to prevent choking and the article even notes that there is a company making flatdogs.
And this is where I got a little judgey….
First judgement: Hotdogs aren’t the greatest food for kids anyway. Most are loaded with nitrates. Yuck.
Reality: Really, who am I to judge? I sometimes let my kid eat the dreaded Goldfish. Yes, I can feel your looks of “anti-hydrogynated oils” hatred and disgust burning my way through the blogoshere. But if you had a low weight kid, you might let her have a little cheesy fishy every now and then too.
Second Judgement: Does it take a rocket scientist to cut up the damn hotdog?
Reality:I sometimes let Bug eat baby carrots. Should I be cutting up these little crunchy delights of wholesome goodness? Are carrots just another deathtrap masquerading as a healthy snack?
Third Judgement: Haven’t food items of hotdog shape been around for like a long time (note to self–google sausage/hotdog making history) without mass pandemic of child choking?
Reality: God, I am such a history nerd that I probably will google this shit.
All this said, I too choked on a hotdog when I was a kid. My mom performed the Heimlich manuever (I freakin’ love the name of this technique) and the ‘dog popped right on out. YAY Heimlich!
I’m terrified of hot dogs. But not becuase of choking. Because they are disgusting. But at the same time, I do let my kids eat them sometimes. I also let my kids eat baby marshmallows, which are apparently the #2 world choking hazard and also disgusting thanks to the gelitan needed to make them. But of course, I’m lame like that. Someone shoot me now please.
My kids have been known to eat both hotdogs and baby carrots – I DO cut both up though b/c I’m way paranoid about the choking thing and baby carrots and hotdogs are supposed to be two of the worst culprits in terms of chocking hazards. While my kids have admittedly had a hotdog or two away from home, I buy the nitrate-free variety for home at Trader Joe’s (hey, at least I try). And my kids LOVE goldfish – although I cringe when their grandparents buy them the colored variety. That’s just adding insult to injury.
Also, I’m such an asshole I repeatedly quizzed my husband, mom, and inlaws on the proper way to slice a hotdog or baby carrot length-wise before continuing to dice the food into smaller pieces in order to prevent choking when my kids were of toddler age. You know me very well so you know exactly what I mean when I say that I demonstarted the process repeatedly. Yeah, I’m annoying. But I ain’t fuckin’ around either. Oh yeah – and grapes. Those mofos are death traps too.
I think my computer just ate my commment. I thought that only happened on Blogger!
Anyway, I don’t think flat hotdogs are going to catch on the way the original shape did.
Why can’t we all just take responsibility for our own actions/children and stop suing people and banning things?
PS Hot dogs are one of the few foods that all four of us will eat. I’ll have to get black market hotdogs from a back alley somewhere if they are banned!
Whoa. I haven’t read that story, but (ok, follow this) my parents’ neighbors’ friend’s kid died from eating a non-cut hot dog that the babysitter gave. Is that the same story? That would be crazy. The lesson here is to not have babysitters.
Holy crap that is awful. When I get down on myself for being a freak who doesn’t leave her kid with very many people–pretty much just my mom–and she lives in another state—I have a story like this to turn to. So freakin’ scary.
Choking and drowning are the two things I am most afraid of with regard to my kids. (That and their being influenced by other kids to like lame music). That is tragic about that poor little girl, but I agree with you–cut up the hot dog/grapes/carrots/etc.! Choking scares me still, and my kids are long past the typical choking age, because now they laugh and run with food in their mouths. It could be piece of anything that can get lodged when a kid aspirates while eating. I am constantly telling them they have to SIT DOWN when they’re eating. And thank God for the Heimlich, right?
My neurosis reaches new and manic heights when it comes to choking hazards. I am SO scared of the choking thing. I cut up (or bite in a pinch) anything that looks suspiciously trachea shaped. I tackled my father in law (who has a bad knee and didn’t appreciate it) when he tried to offer Soleil a section of orange when she was 7 months old. My heart stops every time she makes a weird face while eating. Which she does a lot just because she likes to be dramatic and interesting. Which she is. But also terrifying. I am actually afraid I will bust the Heimlich on her totally unnecessarily one day!
WHAT????????? Will chicken nuggets be next? Things like this really rub me the wrong way. Here’s a solution….let’s just throw all our food into a blender and we can just eat through straws. That is until someone finds something hazardous about that method……
I am petrified of choking and when all three of my kids were little I cut up EVERYTHING. I even broke Cherrios in half! (Got a lot of grief about that one). However, I don’t believe things like hot dogs should be changed. That is just absurd. Yes, they are a choking hazard but so are lots of other things.
We miss you! You been busy?
Hi Liza, thanks for asking. Yeah, this summer has proven to be busy—add in the readjustment to Los Angeles traffic and to this special brand of SF Valley heat and I have been a bit overwhelmed lately. I’ll be back soon!